You Probably Think This Post Is About You, Don’t You?

You’re probably right.  Because I, as a member of the left-wing liberal “blogosphere,” even though I don’t actually write about politics, once lived in Los Angeles and sometimes eat organic, have an agenda.  And that agenda is slandering you on social media.  That’s right.  Every Facebook update I post is some cryptic reference to you, casual business acquaintance I see once a year at a conference.  Of course I was talking about you, person who can kind of place, who feels it necessary to call me after reading a tweet I sent, begging the question of how in the hell she got my cell number in the first place.  Those updates were obviously about them – they’re about you, too.

Here’s a secret: I don’t take any of this shit seriously.  And you shouldn’t either.  Sometimes, I write stuff that’s kind of funny or decent content by the decidedly low standards of personal WordPress sites, but it’s not like I put a lot of thought into the crap I craft.  I see what sticks, and sometimes that sticks some people who think I’m sticking them.  I’m not.  Here’s all the thought that goes into planning my content as someone who makes a living (hahaha) writing worthless, disposable cantankerous posts like this one.  My existence can be defined by one simple question:

Do I Feel Like Writing?

1. Yes:  I crank out some boring copy about some boring product that’s been sitting on a to-do list for months – even if I can’t remember a briefing from weeks ago, inevitably their PR person can.  And like creditors, sometimes I just need to stop the calls and pay the costs by writing some sort of specious product review or write up.

2. No: I write some stream of consciousness crap that no one reads, but at least the words on the screen get time stamped to make it look like I’m actually writing when, in fact, I am staring at a blank Word document cursing the day I first found out what a recruiter really was.  But it sure beats accounting, so I drink a 5 hour energy or down a Double Shot and force myself to a place where I feel like writing.  Then, the B2B stuff flows out like the crap it really, truly is.

But this is my personal blog, and I use it as an aggregate for a lot of that professional content.  But the fact is, it’s like the cockroaches of domains.  True story, started as a website for my unsuccessful 2001 bid for a seat on the Overland Park, KS, city council:

campaignMy hairline, clean cut, relatively lithe figure and Arsenio outfit all suggest that it’s been a long ass time since I’ve registered this URL, or, as a boss of mine once called them, “uhrls,” as in ‘earls.’  That still makes me cringe, but it was probably cool about the same time as this website, which design wise has actually digressed.

But this screen shot, according to the WayBack machine, was taken in May of 2001, which means a child born the first web copy I ever wrote about communities would now be getting Bar Mitzvahed.  Oy.

In that time, I’ve gone through more jobs than a substitute teacher or contract recruiter.  Not to mention my entire college career, the entire W. and Obama presidencies and the entire world of social media.  So you’ll understand why I don’t think anything I do on a personal account, from this website to social websites, should reflect what I do professionally.

I was on Facebook before it was even open to people outside a few Ivy Leagues, the UCs and some Bay Area colleges no one had heard of.  You all came in and invaded with your content marketing – I was just figuring out who the cute girl in CNTV 367 was, and what she meant by “it’s complicated.”  On Twitter, I use a good chunk of my 140 characters to clearly state that my views don’t reflect those of my employer.  So no matter what I say or do on any of those sites, don’t use it against me professionally.  And don’t take anything I say personally – this is all a persona in the first place.  Just like that sleazy high school student in the tie who actually came across as an innocent honor roll student who cared about the future of his Midwestern hometown, while my persona’s evolved a little, the fact remains that I’m just faking it.  Writing in character is way easier than being yourself.

But I forget that people actually take stuff I put up seriously.  Please don’t.  I’m only doing this because it’s the only way to get published without focusing on management, motivation or murder, but my first person isn’t actually an “I” for an “I.”  If I piss you off with something as innocuous as content, good – just make sure it’s about the content, not the creator.  They’re both works of fiction, but this isn’t really real life.  Maybe you should get one.  And yeah.  That’s the best I got.

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